The High Road!

Sometimes, I totally just feel like clawing peoples eyes out, I really do, I am not going to lie about, I want to so badly, and in as much as I want to do that, I can't. Yesterday morning I blogged about the absolute virtues of running my tuesday night show, and I want to continue that. Tonight's show was UH may Zing. So many people came out to see some great people do their thing on stage and be themselves. I was so happy! The music was insanely amazing! I was totally blown away! I really have to count my blessings  and remain grateful for the people that surround me. 

With that said. I feel the need to defend myself. The Miss Grrrrl Pageant was a study in patience in understanding. I never really understood why I didn't have any problems with the drag queens of the Miss $1.98 Pageant. But after tonight, I just felt like I was getting skewered. Its hard to do a weekly show, coming up with themes, doing the fliers, promoting, dealing with egos, dealing with the anxiety of whether people will show up or not, and whether or not the night is going to be a hit. Even at the last moments before the show people had dropped out. I am thankful for the talented men and ladies that did manage to pull through and give a show. Its all people want, is a show! The difficulty in finding contestants was my first obstacle it was really difficult. But for people to say that my lack of preparation is what made the show flawed I think is terribly unfair. I do this on my own, with rarely any help from anyone week after week. I stay up late doing fliers, I do all the email blasts, with little help from anyone at all, sometimes it pains me to even ask friends on facebook to repost my events for me. Its a learning process. I have poured my heart and my soul into this show, it consumes me. I am baffled at people who come to the show with such a negative outlook. WHY even come? Why bother? I didnt force you to come? Im not forcing you to watch the show. You try doing it. Sometimes I feel that I can never win, but I guess thats what this is all about. 

I'm only doing the best I can, and if that is not good enough then you can leave. I've spent alot of my earlier drag days trying to fight that insane mentality that I wasn't good enough, or I wasn't artsy enough or whatever reason, and now that I am starting to get comfortable in my own skin, I find it incredibly necessary to say what I feel.  Initially I was incredibly hesitant about writing this last blog, but now its not just a necessary evil I actually feel really good about it! Tonights pageant was a success in my eyes and to the eyes of those involved who actually worked their butts off making this happen! It was fun, it was retarded and now before I go to bed, I am asking myself... where did the toblerone end up?