Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The High Road!

Sometimes, I totally just feel like clawing peoples eyes out, I really do, I am not going to lie about, I want to so badly, and in as much as I want to do that, I can't. Yesterday morning I blogged about the absolute virtues of running my tuesday night show, and I want to continue that. Tonight's show was UH may Zing. So many people came out to see some great people do their thing on stage and be themselves. I was so happy! The music was insanely amazing! I was totally blown away! I really have to count my blessings  and remain grateful for the people that surround me. 

With that said. I feel the need to defend myself. The Miss Grrrrl Pageant was a study in patience in understanding. I never really understood why I didn't have any problems with the drag queens of the Miss $1.98 Pageant. But after tonight, I just felt like I was getting skewered. Its hard to do a weekly show, coming up with themes, doing the fliers, promoting, dealing with egos, dealing with the anxiety of whether people will show up or not, and whether or not the night is going to be a hit. Even at the last moments before the show people had dropped out. I am thankful for the talented men and ladies that did manage to pull through and give a show. Its all people want, is a show! The difficulty in finding contestants was my first obstacle it was really difficult. But for people to say that my lack of preparation is what made the show flawed I think is terribly unfair. I do this on my own, with rarely any help from anyone week after week. I stay up late doing fliers, I do all the email blasts, with little help from anyone at all, sometimes it pains me to even ask friends on facebook to repost my events for me. Its a learning process. I have poured my heart and my soul into this show, it consumes me. I am baffled at people who come to the show with such a negative outlook. WHY even come? Why bother? I didnt force you to come? Im not forcing you to watch the show. You try doing it. Sometimes I feel that I can never win, but I guess thats what this is all about. 

I'm only doing the best I can, and if that is not good enough then you can leave. I've spent alot of my earlier drag days trying to fight that insane mentality that I wasn't good enough, or I wasn't artsy enough or whatever reason, and now that I am starting to get comfortable in my own skin, I find it incredibly necessary to say what I feel.  Initially I was incredibly hesitant about writing this last blog, but now its not just a necessary evil I actually feel really good about it! Tonights pageant was a success in my eyes and to the eyes of those involved who actually worked their butts off making this happen! It was fun, it was retarded and now before I go to bed, I am asking myself... where did the toblerone end up? 

6 comments:

polynesian_metal said...

sorry i missed it, again disco naps at my age are fatal.
love Z

Joel Tan said...

I woke up with Toblerone stains around my pubis.

dblplus said...

Hey Sweet you know, I know you do this and put a lot of work into promoting it. Last night was messy good fun. Completely irreverent, and just an experiment in letting it hang out.

Dear, I want to thank you for inviting me to co-host. I used to do a lot of performance art stuff in Atlanta at various warehouses, and I miss doing that. It's been YEARS, I mean YEARS, like 16 years since I've done any kind of drag/lip sync whatever. I get on stage sometimes at Sister events to call bingo balls or whatever, but this was just stupid fun. You really have a good heart, and a good sense. The fact that you aren't a control freak about what the performers do shows you have an open mind.

If any one took that shit seriously last night....really. Except the chocolate bar number; that's just wrong, and now I know why Sisters (and queens) air kiss.

I'm honored to have spilled my second cocktail on stage with you and helped you work it out last night.

xoxo
Sister Tuna

reddiva dana said...

oh baby!!!!!! i couldnt believe your patience & grace. really.....if anyone cant see who was responsible for some of the [i think just laughable fun & trying something new] shit that went down.....they are not worth listening to. it was pretty obviously not organized you.
i thought it was a great experiment in thinking outside the box [not mine tho] which is where the best art evolves from.
i came out to Chaser sick....cause i wouldnt have missed it.

your patience, proffessionalism & grace shines.....as always xox reddiva dana

Anonymous said...

Well said! Honestly I don't know how you do it girl. Thanks for inviting me to be a part of your hard work. Last night was fucking legendary! I scoff at those shit talkers!

Percy On The Verge said...

You do great work and you know what people are always gonna criticize. Mostly because 1) they are jealous, 2) they wish they would have thought of it, 3) they are just unhappy. So keep on keeping on.