We've Got Our Obsessions!

HA! 4am again and time for me to blog. Sorry I haven't really blogged in the past two days, I tried to, even with my iPhone I somehow couldn't type all the things I wanted to say. Anyway, I am so happy the heatwave is so slowly burning off and the fog is starting to roll in again, it's not really San Francisco in the summer time if there isnt any fog to deal with! I had a total blast performing in places that I don't normally perform at! It was so refreshing to just be on stage without any pressure to do pull a bunny out of a top hat or any crazy magical moment people might have the misconception I seem to create! I had alot of fun, and feel blessed to live in a beautiful city where it is diverse enough to have tons of creative individuals doing their own thing! 

Lately, this group singer named Marina & The Diamonds have been on my constant replay list for the last two weeks! I found a video for their "I Am Not A Robot" song, which I am gladly reposting here: 

The great and revealing about this video is that it totally begs to be done in drag! I mean hello I've worked every

single one of those looks, and you know how much I love the fan in the hair effect! Most epescially 

the all black body paint look! that gets me! I love it!

I got a part in that "Trauma" TV show casting call! They start filming on Tuesday morning at 7am which

basically means I have to start getting in drag at five am! HOW WONDERFUL! I guess! The leopard

print dress comes in handy, minimal drama, and its glamorous as all hell.

I'm also gearing up for yet another installment of CHASER vs HYP! 

The last one was super incredible and tons of people showed up, 

so hopefully this time around there will be more people. 

Although I was a bit bummed at the treatment 

I recieved at the door of the club last night. 

I was there out of drag on

my way to Bjork Night at the DNA, 

when apparently my name wasn't on the list as I was previously told.

BUT it didnt matter, I was going to pay the cover charge, and I didnt have a problem with paying if

the door person wasn't such an asshole. Oh well what can you do? I'll let it pass and chalk it up to experience

that maybe some people just don't have the people skills to work the door. I wasn't being a diva, if there was

an issue I wouldve been fine, I'll pay the cover, but he was a really a douche. oh well you cant win them all!

It's too bad I really do like working with Phillip and the rest of the people there. Who knows right?

Bork Night at the DNA was pretty cool haven't seen any of those people in a while 

and it was great to see them all perform on such a huge stage with proper lighting etc. 

I was really impressed with the pacing of the show,

and as a hostess and producer I have to remember the slightest of things like pacing! 

It's really an artform.

My boyfriend bought Asparagus weeks ago, and I am only cooking it tomorrow! 

First I was a little intimidaed by the whole thing.

Asparagus if not cooked right can go horribly wrong, 

but thankfully I asked someone

who knew how to cook them for advice and he delivered, so I'll roast them tomorrow!

Anywho, I am super fucking exhausted, I think I'll have one last cigarette and hop into bed!

xx00

m*

Things That Bring Joy To My Life!

It's 4am yet again, of course I will not be able to sleep for another hour or so. I am listening to "Secretly" by Skunk Anansie then probably moving on to more Bowie. Earlier this evening I went to perform at a friends benefit at El Rio. It was fun, I saw alot of people who I haven't seen in a while then went to a party in the Castro...y'know that one, on Wednesdays, you know the really insanely packed one where you can't really breathe cause theres so many goddamn people. Yes you know what I'm talking about! LOL. 

Lately in an effort to keep sane I have decided to take a more proactive look at things that bring joy to my life, things to be grateful for! Like cats... my boyfriend calls his cats his landlords, because basically they do own the apartment! We are just here as their tenants. I love those two. One is a girl named Sylvia, and the other is her brother Lars. I'm sure you have seen me post up pictures of them around the house, in my wigs, in brand new fresh out of the dryer towels, in the towel closet. In the hallway! And yes they do sleep in the bed with us from time to time, and it is the cutest thing EVER! 

Another thing that brings me alot of joy is FOOD! I love to eat, and I love food! All kinds of food, but more importantly I love food that is cooked good (duh). I order the same thing from the thai restaurant down the street #81 Moo Tod - Cripsy Pork! $7.95 as a rice plate and $9.95 for A la Carte! They must really know me by now seeing as I order the same thing from there almost every freaking day! Don't get me wrong, I love to cook and I love eating well, but really the crispy pork from that place is alot cheaper than what I really want to get at whole foods- so there and I don't want to wash dishes! I grew up eating really well and have a very varied appetite - so food and knowledge of cuisine is a definite way to win me over!

Hmmm letsee here...BEING CREATIVE! I love getting creative, I love thinking of ideas and ways to make things spicier - to fuck things up so to speak! Like i said two blogs ago, I do it because I love it, and not because I have to, then it doesn't become so much of a chore, but something I am really passionate about and that in turn brings good energy and hence a better time for everyone! 

Oh and of course Stephen. Stephen brings me lots joy. He is the last thing I think of at night, and the first thing I think of in the morning, I can tell when he's not in bed. but thats a little more private than I care to share for now. 

That's all. thank you for reading and have a great night!

xx00

m*

The High Road!

Sometimes, I totally just feel like clawing peoples eyes out, I really do, I am not going to lie about, I want to so badly, and in as much as I want to do that, I can't. Yesterday morning I blogged about the absolute virtues of running my tuesday night show, and I want to continue that. Tonight's show was UH may Zing. So many people came out to see some great people do their thing on stage and be themselves. I was so happy! The music was insanely amazing! I was totally blown away! I really have to count my blessings  and remain grateful for the people that surround me. 

With that said. I feel the need to defend myself. The Miss Grrrrl Pageant was a study in patience in understanding. I never really understood why I didn't have any problems with the drag queens of the Miss $1.98 Pageant. But after tonight, I just felt like I was getting skewered. Its hard to do a weekly show, coming up with themes, doing the fliers, promoting, dealing with egos, dealing with the anxiety of whether people will show up or not, and whether or not the night is going to be a hit. Even at the last moments before the show people had dropped out. I am thankful for the talented men and ladies that did manage to pull through and give a show. Its all people want, is a show! The difficulty in finding contestants was my first obstacle it was really difficult. But for people to say that my lack of preparation is what made the show flawed I think is terribly unfair. I do this on my own, with rarely any help from anyone week after week. I stay up late doing fliers, I do all the email blasts, with little help from anyone at all, sometimes it pains me to even ask friends on facebook to repost my events for me. Its a learning process. I have poured my heart and my soul into this show, it consumes me. I am baffled at people who come to the show with such a negative outlook. WHY even come? Why bother? I didnt force you to come? Im not forcing you to watch the show. You try doing it. Sometimes I feel that I can never win, but I guess thats what this is all about. 

I'm only doing the best I can, and if that is not good enough then you can leave. I've spent alot of my earlier drag days trying to fight that insane mentality that I wasn't good enough, or I wasn't artsy enough or whatever reason, and now that I am starting to get comfortable in my own skin, I find it incredibly necessary to say what I feel.  Initially I was incredibly hesitant about writing this last blog, but now its not just a necessary evil I actually feel really good about it! Tonights pageant was a success in my eyes and to the eyes of those involved who actually worked their butts off making this happen! It was fun, it was retarded and now before I go to bed, I am asking myself... where did the toblerone end up? 

Alright Already!

I know I havent been exactly up to date with blogging. It's 4:12am, and I really can't sleep at all most days now, alot of things are on my mind lately. I am happy and living a content life with a wonderful boyfriend, two wonderful cats and my party that happens on tuesday nights. I know I know I'm always promoting something or other, but I don't think alot of people realize how hard it is to do a weekly club on Tuesday nights of all things, I can only think of one other person. The past few months have been a true test of my character, who would've thought that at 25 I would be producing my own party? I don't think this is what my parents exactly envisioned for me, but whatever. Sometimes we take the path others really don't take, and to be honest with you ever since I was kid, I've never really seen myself as someone who can sit behind a desk and push buttons all day. AT LEAST now I am doing what I love, and throwing a party on my own terms. Alot of this has to do with my experiences at Trannyshack and Charlie Horse, and learning all the lessons I did! It does come in more handy now. I am slowly learning to become more diplomatic about my approach to certain situations and heed the advice of those who have come before me. The party seems to be growing and my audience seems to like what I am doing.

When the idea popped into my head about this four months ago, I really had no clue what I was doing or getting myself into. Luckily I have an insanely supportive boyfriend who sticks by me and my decisions and the support of a great team of people where I do the party at. I really wasn't gunning for a week day party, much less something that happened on a Tuesday night. 

Believe me I spent many sleepless and listless nights much like tonight cowering and thinking about the party. My first thought was not a Tuesday drag show, but maybe something over the weekend. Thankfully Sydney (one of the owners of the EndUp) steered me into tuesday nights. I knew and understood the legacy of the tuesday night drag show in SF, I was part of it for a brief period of time, much less fathoming the institution that is the EndUp. So alot of this was all new to me, even though I've been part of the scene for awhile now. I just had to keep in my mind, that everything has been done already, I cannot re invent the wheel, I could not be pretentious about it and just own the fact that yes I like drag shows, and yes it is on a Tuesday night, but so what, I wasn't out to do or recreate a storied past, I just wanted to do someting I felt comfortable with and listen to the music I liked, at an environment I helped foster. And as much as I like the Stud, a) I wasn't going to do something there knowing full well the legacy of that stage and b) I wanted to start with something fresh, a clean slate if you will, with something to build MY own legacy with and not ride on the coat tales of years ago. Little did I know the insane ride I am in for!

It's such a weird conundrum, a long battle of trial and errors. And yes I still get incredibly nervous about it alot, espescially every tuesday at around 15 minutes before the show, I go nuts! Again, someting I am grateful for is the people I work with. My doormen Andres and Ivan really put up with alot from me, and DJ Dann Edmond and Guy Ruben who deal with my insanity from the DJ booth is seriously a saint, and then there are the ladies, who continue to stand by my side and keep wanting to perform at my show. I mean of course there such a bevy of creativity in the city what with the whole recession kind of forcing people to rethink their agendas since most of them are now unemployed. It's almost like back to basics. 

In retrospect Chaser has been so much of a blessing to me. It gives me an outlet to be creative, and having to think on my feet constantly, it sharpens the knives so to speak. It's always trial and error, touch and go. But I am slowly building myself back up slowly. It's kind of pyschological as much as I deny it, it really is. It's a total practice in humility and turning things over, things I don't have any control of. It's daunting at times, but I just have to really keep forging on and doing what I do, not because I have to, but because I love what I'm doing. Thank you for reading

xx00

m*